Friday, March 30, 2012

Some Chuck Norris Facts- Explains Many Things

  • Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. 
  • Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there. 
  • The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably. 
  • When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris 
  • Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. 
  • Chuck Norris wakes up his alarm clock 
  • Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone. 
  • There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives. 
  • Some magicians can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land. 
  • Chuck Norris remembers the future. 
  • Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants. 
  • Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him. 
  • Chuck Norris received his pilots license by just looking at an airplane. 
  • Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. 
  • Chuck Norris called 911 to order Chinese food and got it. 
  • Only Chuck Norris can dislike on Facebook 
  • Chuck Norris uses a sundial at night. 
  • When Chuck Norris looks at himself at a mirror, there is no reflection. There can only be one Chuck Norris. 
  • Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris cannot fly. He just jumps and chooses when to come down. 

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